Spin

So I have for some reason started thinking about different points in history and how I would have spun them if I was in a position to do so. Here are some of the thoughts:

In order to better serve its African-American customer base, Deep South diner now offers a convenient rear entrance, away from the dangerous "Main Street". We are also offering a completely self contained Afro-centric dining area which seeks to recreate the experience of visiting a diner in the trendier areas of Somalia.

In an effort to reunify the tribes of Israel, the German government will be embarking on a high volume relocation and work study program across not just its own borders, but throughout the world. The "Star Of David" program will include free meals, lodging and relocation. Concurrently we will also be running a "Pink triangle" program which will allow the countries homosexual population the opportunity to network with each other and avoid the hatred and discrimination commonly found in our communities.

In an effort to allow or customers more quality time with their families and friends: the next windows operating system will contain several hidden features that we're sure everyone will enjoy. Instead of spending hours looking for your favorite illegal internet gambling site, just visit it once, and the next time you turn your computer on, a link will automatically pop up to take you there. In an effort to make your home computing experiences even more pleasurable, Windows has been fitted to take measurements of certain elements in the air, I'm sorry I acn't tell you what exactly is measured as it is proprietary information, and will automatically turn off the computer when you have worked too long and hard. Besides these two examples, there are plenty of other hidden surprises inside the newest version of Windows. Many of these features can be turned off with software obtained from outside vendors proving that we are not a monopoly, but encourage our customers to use products developed by other manufacturers to enhance ones "Windows Experience".

I'm going to have to think of more later: THese were just the obvious ones...