From bad to worse

What? I can't hear you.. Speak up. Goddamn it, What do you want.

All things I have been saying a lot recently as, on top of the rest of the fun times I've had being back here in N.Y., I have an ear infection. That's right, the bane of 8 year olds everywhere. So I have no money, am 1000 miles away from my own bed, and it feels like I've been tied down and someone is force feeding my left ear a steady diet of Yoko Ono's rejected tracks as performed by one of the Simpson girls. (which is much worse than the "ice pick" analogy.

I don't normally take aspirin, ibuprofin, or any other pain killers. It is so seldom that I get headaches that I find it easier to massage my temples, close my eyes and do a couple minutes of meditation than to keep an unexpired bottle of Advil in my medicinal war chest. Between yesterday and the day before I went through a bottle and a half of generic ibuprofin and advil. The recommended maximum dose is 6 in one day. This did not kill the pain as their advertising had suggested it would. All it did was dull the sharp aforementioned pain to an almost bearable level. (Unpublished Carly Simon sung by a Shakira tribute band)

I have learned and relearned a few things over the past couple days. including the following: When Upset or stressed my grandmothers voice becomes nasal and buzz saw like, tearing through the ball of cotton in my ear straight into my skull. Fast paced video games are a lot less fun while hopped up on advil... sample text from my experiments would read: "Kris enters battlefield. Kris has been bludgeoned to death by a quadraplegic with a spoon". I would then curse at the screen because he came out of nowhere. My brother drove me home and I remembered how small he is for a 17 year old when I spent over a minute waiting for the power seats in my car to move all the way back so my legs weren't under my chin. I get really shaky when I have a lot of painkillers in me.

I used to get ear infections all the time as a kid, and I enjoyed them.. I got to stay home, read, and the little pink pills didn't actually taste bad for medicine. But if going back to that simnple time means putting up with more of these.. count me out.