Porn 1 Jesus 0

I am really enjoying my improv class. In part because the people in the class are beginning to loosen up around each other and we're not self censoring as much. There's still some self censorship going on, but it's decreasing. But today we were doing a "break in the routine" scene. (Basically the characters know each other, but something is missing from their normal routine, which becomes very important and hilarity ensues)

OUr scene was about porn.

Not my idea, honest. As we were batting around ideas fot what the routine could be the thought of movies popped up. Cool, group of friends oing to the movies. But what's missing.. the movie, what coupld take its place.. "PORN!!!" Says the almost innocent looking lady sitting to my left. "Why don't we just make it a porn in the first place" Says the less innocent, but stil demure woman sitting to my right. So the scene was going to be about porn. And the porn was going to be missing.

So two of us set up the scene, arrainging chairs, blankets (for privacy) soda (to avoid dehydration) Lotion (duh), and waited for the innocent looking woman to bring the porn. Instead she brought a bible. The demure woman became much less demure. I asked if the bible had a centerfold (I then returned the idea to Mr. Hicks unharmed), and used the phrase "Hairy bobbin' man ass", (because it was a special rent one get one free on Bill's jokes)

In the ensuing argument the following points were made for Jesus:
1) But.. He's our saviour


For porn, the following arguments were made:
1) But if we don't watch porn I might sleep with him (indicating me)
2) It's research for when we decide to "be fruitful and multiply"
3) You never get any new std's from your hand, so watching poprn might save one of our lives.
4) Jesus is now working with vivid video.
5) It's our routine.. sin on wed. Repent on Sun. If we don't sin on Wed. We have nothing to repent on sunday and therefore have no reason to attend services. Everybody knows that if you don't go to church on sunday you go to hell. Wed. porn is saving us from an eternity engulfed in flames and smelling of brimstone.

It was fun.