Unemployment hearing

Over the past few years I have become (unfortunately) too familiar with the workings of New York's Unemployment Insurance Program. Know I'm learning about Illinois'.
Yesterday morning at 9am I had a Telephone hearing. What this means, is that I was fired, filed for unemployment, the company I worked for requested a hearing to try and prove that I was ineligible for unemployment. I recieved a letter almost two weeks ago informing me of the hearing, And I will admit I've been worrying about it ever since, as I am a very firm pessimist. (Because then I'm either right or pleasantly surprised) Here is a brief paraphrased transcript of the event:

9:00 (on the nose) the phone rings
"Hello"
"Kristopher Soule?"
"Yes"
"This is _____ Calling for your hearing, are you ready to go... let me get the other party... this is being recorded, here are your names and addresses...Are they correct... what position do you hold in the company?... I have in front of me the following Items as exhibits... (At which point I could have been a jerk since I did not have copies, but I didn't think about it then).... Ok, the first question we are dealing with is Was a timely protest filed by the employer?, since you have no information on this I won't be asking you any questions Kris. Do you have any questions?" (I figured I'd shorten the 5-6 min this part of the hearing took to a paragrap instead of a LOT of tedious diologue)
"no"
"Alright ____ we recieved the filing by fax on May second, signed, well, stamped by a ______, _____, _____"
"I believe her last name is ______"
"thank you, Is this correct?"
____ (my former manager)"Yes"
"It was due to be filed on the first. Is this correct?"
"Yes"
"Do you have any information about Why it was filed late?"
"No"
"Thank you, you will be recieving my decision in the mail. Goodbye"
"Goodbye"
"..., ...., (sound of phone hanging up) But... wait, that was it? What about my clever counter arguments and... Hello? ... I guess I won."

Which means that the manager who I have been frustrated by for the past few months isn't even competant enough to FIRE SOMEBODY. I still maintain that they fired the wrong person.

Ah, the Joys of renting

Sometimes you learn things you don't want to know about people you barely know. For example, I don't know any movie stars.. But I do know that if hugh Grant can't use his English charm to get a BJ, he'll use American cash. I don't know Michael Jackson, but I know he has distinctive markings on his Weiner. I don't know the girl living upstairs from me, but I do know she has a cast iron cootchie.

I know this because earlier today my feet detected something wet by my fridge. Since the fridge is almost as old as my mom, I figured that was the problem and called my landlord. After a few minutes of poking around we determined that the fridge was not the problem. When we looked in the furnace room we found that the main drain from my upstairs neigbors bathroom had burst.

BECAUSE IT WAS FILLED WITH PAPER TOWELS!!!

I want to make this clear.. PAPER TOWELS. Who the hell has the pain tolerance to wipe with paper towels? Not to be overly graphic here, but wow!! (and ow) I can understand once or twice... because you haven't been able to get to the store and you have to go NOW!!! But she filled a 3" pipe that's about 4' long. To the point where it burst. Not cracked, not popped a seal to let off some pressure. I mean a full two foot long crack wide enough to see the designs on the paper towels.

This takes an effort and dedication that I cannot comprehend. and a cootchie made of cast iron.

daamnit

I did it, I admit it. I bought some huge ass shorrts because my big ass shorts don't fit anymore, and I need something to wear over the summer. Especially as my Car has no AC.

Lifes little reminders

Sometimes people leave this world when you aren't expecting it. Other times their obituaries are given more coverage than their careers. Such is the case with Desmond Dekker. At least in this country.
As with every musician whose work I enjoy and cherish, his passing is a reminder to delve into the history of the genres I love and to listen more avidly. I've seen every sitcom joke.. but there are still variations of the 4/4 I IV V progression that I haven't heard. A way of turning a phrase both lyrically and musically that I have yet to experience.

Too fat

I did the math earlier today about how many hours I would need to bicycle in order to lose the weight I've put on over the past year an a half. The answer is: about 300. Depending on the difficulty of where I bike. Granted my bike is in my Mom's barn In NY and I'm in IL... But that's not the point. It would take me a month of 10 hours days just biking to lose this weight. How the hell did I eat so much? I will admit that much of what I have eaten for the past year has been fast and prepackaged foods, but still. I've put on approx. 3/4 of a pound for every week I've been here and it needs to come off. Unfortunately I don't know of any truly viable way of doing it as I have almost no willpower in terms of not eating when I'm hungry and I've never been able to run more than 3 /10 of a mile, Without the money for a gym I'm feeling pretty helpless about the whole thing. However I am refusing to buy new clothes becasue that's just giving in.. that's my motivation.. fit back into those big ass jeans so I don't have to buy huge ass jeans.

Missing part.

I believe I am missing a small little piece of my brain. The part that lets you know when you have run off course into the tradewinds off the cost of Tangent. Which is of course, not to be confused with Tangiers. The main difference being you can get a much better martini in Tangiers. Although my favorite bartender at Random serves a wonderful Slow Double entendre against the wall with just a twist of lemon. Random is the "it" bar in Tangent, Black wallpaper painted black with enough smoke machines and lasers to bankrupt Gene Simmons. Seriously, the clientele there is not what you would expect. You get everybody from the Mailman to A-list Celebs there. If you can dance, you can get in. Which is why the first night i went there I had to sneak around back, break into this cute little diner in the middle of the night. Move the deep fat fryer away from the wall and cut through it with a sawzall I bought on e-bay for 50 bucks. So of course when I went through the hole I was all covered in sawdust and wallboard dust, but with the blacklights it just looked like dandruff so I put on an embarrasssed smile and incorporated "head and Shoulders" into my pickup lines that evening. To cut down on the amount of work the bouncers actually do you get this cute little "Acceptable" card if you make it all the way to closing time without being forcebaly ejected. After that you don't have to wait in the normal line, you just buzz up to the front,flash the card at the bouncer, take a moment to appreciate the chick flashing the bouncer for admission.. and you're in. Problem solved.. except in my drunken haze I forgot to move the deep fryer back and the entire building was closed while the health department looked into the giant rats in the area.

What was I saying?

Nothing heavy, just a review.

A couple years ago my friend Jason (http://aberranttemplar.blogspot.com) allowed me to borrow his copy of this really nice computer game. Heroes of Might and Magic 4. I fell in love, the story lines were worth reading, there weren't a any graphics intensive cut scenes, and the only audio/ video was the short prelude to each board. The story line popped up so you could read it if you wanted. The game really allowed you flexibility in terms of the characters you played even though the plot lines were inflexible. The night I loaded the game I played for 6 hours straight. Yeah, I'm that sort of guy.. when I really like something I go all out on it. So it was with great anticipation that I Put down some cash on the Fifth installment of the series.

I hate anticipation. Especially when it doesn't pan out. I bought it today and played the first board. There seemed to be a lot of thought put into the graphics. but it was wasted as the story line did not draw me in at all. I will admit that I do not like cut scenes and expository monologues in my video games unless I can read them at my own speed. Otherwise it just takes to long to watch an animated short film which has no action, merely exposition. Perhaps at the end of the second or third board i will change my mind.. but so far.. I'm not impressed.

Where did Tuesday go?

Because my friend D asked me very nicely to set up a myspace profile (Since I've lost touch with everybody I know) I lost Tuesday. I very literally woke up, played some video games, ate, called my mom, talked to my girlfriend, and started the profile.. By the time I finished and had looked up a few people, it was Wednesday.

Since it's been a couple days I should probably give a full update of my life. Since the last posting the following has changed:

My Girlfriend is back In NYC.
I have a myspace profile under the name cheeseboyardee.
I am three days older.

If evolution is outlawed....

Only outlaws will evolve. -Jello Biafra
One of my favorite album titles of all time... well, that and NOFX's "Heavy Petting Zoo". Which is only fully appreciated when gazing upon the art work of a man lovingly holding a young lamb.

This has no bearing on my post.

I was bouncing around online earlier and happened upon some of the more conservative sites and remembered why I'm truly disgusted with the conservative ideology. However it did bring a couple of points to mind, which I would like to expound upon.

Assertion #1 "Islam is a dangerous, misogynistic, and violent religion"

Well, of course it is. It's a religion that grew in an extremely hostile environment, much like Christianity and Judaism. Actually very much like Christianity and Judaism as all three religions trace themselves back to Abraham. The "officially approved" (coming from the texts) clothing is similar, as are the rules for the treatment of women, and what you should eat.

The problem is NOT Islam. The problem is that the areas where Christianity and Judaism have flourished have been ruled by large bureaucracies, which allows for police, prisons, and non-lethal methods of punishment. The areas where Islam has taken flourished however, have predominately been tribal, and local. The goal of the penal system in the bureaucratic model is one of either reform or punishment. The goal of a local penal system is one of preventing crime in the first place. The easiest way to do this is fear; the easiest way to invoke fear is to use religion. Especially when you can say "No man is capable of judging you, so we will send you to the almighty for judgment."

(Aside) It may also be worth comparing the areas of the world with the most violence today with the areas of the world divided between the European powers during the colonial period.

Assertion two: Liberals are whiny weenies who will run away from a confrontation.

Two words. Gandhi and King. Avoid confrontation? Or accept that confrontation does NOT have to be violent?

Assertion Three: The Muslim world is evil.

By whose definition? Here's the dictionary.com definition.
e·vil Audio pronunciation of "evil" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (vl)
adj. e·vil·er, e·vil·est

1. Morally bad or wrong; wicked: an evil tyrant.
2. Causing ruin, injury, or pain; harmful: the evil effects of a poor diet.
3. Characterized by or indicating future misfortune; ominous: evil omens.
4. Bad or blameworthy by report; infamous: an evil reputation.
5. Characterized by anger or spite; malicious: an evil temper.
n.

1. The quality of being morally bad or wrong; wickedness.
2. That which causes harm, misfortune, or destruction: a leader's power to do both good and evil.
3. An evil force, power, or personification.
4. Something that is a cause or source of suffering, injury, or destruction: the social evils of poverty and injustice.

Ok, now that we have a base definition the only way I can see that Islam is evil, is if we look to the reputation it has been given by an opposing theology. Which instantly makes that reputation suspect, as it is being proposed by people with a vested interest in our perceptions.

The reputation truly belongs to the few rich leaders of the movements who have poisoned and bent peoples relationship with the almighty for their own personal gain.

Shmucks.

People are protesting the release of "the Da Vinci Code", which is a work of fiction. Most of the people protesting are highly active members of religious organizations.

However as I think about it it does make sense... highly active members of religious organizations often have trouble discerning fact from fiction.

Immigration debate still raging...

It would be nice to hear groups such as the minutement to just fess up and say "We don't like Mexicans". This would allow the rest of us to see them for what they really are. Instead they hide behind the shield of "We're only after the Illegal immigrants". Which is of course bullshit, as evidenced by their initial lack of presence on the northern border. Once it was pointed out to them that Canada was in fact another country, they quickly moved a token group or two to that border.

What really bothers me about this whole debate is that nobody is addressing the underlying issue. People who hire workers illegally. Whether it is because of citizenship issues, taxation, insurance costs, or the infamous "other", it is important to begin prosecuting the employers. If the threat is great enough, the number of peole hiring people illegally will decrease. If the number of jobs decreases, the demand for workers willing to work for less than minimum wage will also decrease, and the supply of those workers will react accordingly.

Along with increased prosecution of employers, there are a couple other things which need to be done. First increae the minimum wage to a local or regional "living wage". Which changes every few years based upon the cost of living in that area. Second, require that any company wishing to sell its goods in this country obey this counties wage and environmental laws. The first part would increase the number of citizens who are willing to work as menial labor because it would no longer be more profitable to collect public assistance than to work. The second part would raise the standard of living in the countries most of our illegal immigrants come from. This would give them a reason to wait until legal methods of immigration became available.

I'm disgusted with this country right now, and especially with the conservatives "final solution" to immigration issues.

Finally

Yesterday was my first day of classes at Second City. Besides concerts and girlfriends there aren't many things that are worth 8 hours of driving for 3 hours of activity, but the class is one of them. The class is a basic improv class for people with a theater background. I probably have the most improv and the least acting experience in the class. I don't want to sound mean spirited, but if you have an acting background, you should know how to do simple things like... keep the audience in front of you. Ah well, it's an intro class. A bit more advanced than the basic class, but a bit behind where I was when I graduated. Since I haven't done improv in over 4 years now it feels like where I should be.

what the hell?

VH1 is doing a "metal month" which initially had me very excited. Unfortunately the month of program appears to be two countdowns, a couple movies, and playing the same Shakira video over and over. Her hips may not lie, but the ONLY way they are metal is if the legs attached to them are wrapped around Jonathan Davis. I don't say this to be mysogynistic, but if they were blasting George Michael instead... The punchline would have included Rob Halford.

Abroad going

Since in many languages word order is less important than ours I think I'm going to begin using alternate grammar and syntax in an effort to fit into the international community. Either that or I have gotten dumber due to living midwest.

Not having a credit card sucks.

I can't sign up for the class at Second City unless I have a credit card, or show up in person since the determination has not been made about my status regarding Unemployment benefits, and classes start in a week, I might be getting royally screwed.

hehe

As you know many institutions are revamping their image to take advantage of Americas obsession with being lazy. The Moral Majority has released its new motto for 2006 "Why think again when you can be BORN again?"

Leave a message

I've stopped answering my phone if I don't recognize a number. If the bill collectors can't be bothered to leave a message, I guess I can't be bothered to pay them .

Just saw crash

It was good.

What?

Were you expecting some long diatribe about the flick. Just rent it and make up your own.

stuff rolling around in my head.

Our culture has begun to break down into subcultures that while once were defined by race, are now being defined by attitude, music, and a personal sense of belonging.
Suburban children who have never had to deal with not having enough money for lunch at school are lining up to see Eminem strut across a stage. Young Latinos are finding themselves humming along to the latest pop hit while their parents work in a field for less than minimum wage. There are brooklyn girls dancing to Brad Paisleys alcohol even though they've never been outside of the five boroughs. Rural white kids are growing mohawks and dreaming of concrete jungles to conquor or escape.

Music is just the most obvious example. Movies, television shows, and fashion are all becomming more transportable. Good, the more America cross-pollinates its ideas and art across racial lines the less full of hate we become.

The only downside of this is that the founding ideas and thoughts are being replaced by sound bites and surface appearances. Soon the facade may become the substance. So please,. look deeper than the facade and into the hearts of the subculture you represent. Each is valid, each is valuable.