My girlfriend makes farting noises with her mouth.

For the past 28 years I have been an asshole. I speak up when I see a problem, and have a hard time accepting injustice and intolerance.

But that is changing. I am sick of being a poor ideological prick. From now on I will sell my soul to the highest bidder, suck the devils cock and give up on making the world a better place.

Just kidding, continue hating me at your leisure.