Happy Thanksgiving

Let's celebrate all of the puritan inspired tradions and kill people on trumped up charges. oh, wait.. WMD.. sorry, my bad, continue with your jihad of hate.

Would you...

AS I drive way to much I have the unpleasant "joy" of listening to the radio. (At least when I forget my Ipod or replacement batteries for the little radio-adaptor doohickey) and I have come to one conclusion. Mediocrity=money.

This is a new theory for me. Even with my deep seeded hatred of commercial radio and it's endless variety of payola schemes, mediocrity=money is new to me.

But how? Wouldn't people say "Hey, this is crap, give me sopmething good?" No, because the hardest part of the entire scheme is it has too be sufficiently proficient to keep people from changing the channel in horror.

Once the song is recorded, and radio play is guranteed by hiring a blond bombshell to blow every Program director in the area. (brief pause here to point out that this also presents some difficulty as some program directors are female) the song is played on the radio.

This does not guarantee a hit. Most people won't even register a song until they have heard it a few times. So it has to get played again... brunettes for the second week.

Since most stations now have extremely short playlists, you will hear the song once every other hour or so for a couple weeks. Even if you don't like the song, and make an effort to change the channel when you hear it, you will still learn the song by sheer repetition. Once the song is in your head, you will begin to hum it, and sing along. This makes you like the song. After all you wouldn't be singing along if the song sucked right?

And now that you like the one song.. shouldn't you buy the album?

No, fight back.. buy extremely BAD music!!!! I don't mean bad like a garage band with shoddy equipment and a broken sense of melody.. I mean truly bad... "Muhammed Ali's greatest polka favorites", or leann Womacks new Jazz fusion album she recorded with Vanilla Ice's 3rd cousin, or Tom Celay humming the iraqi national anthem.. accompanied by a rythym section of blindfolded deaf mutes with tourettes (and triangles). But for the love of god do NOT encourage Coldplay to put out another album.

Forgot one

+2 points: Two words: Strip Risk.

Geek Cred test

Recently I have been talking to a few of myfriends about the fact that our geek credibility ratings have been suffering recently due to changes in our lifestyles. Such as having to pay for our own comics, RPG's, computer upgrades, DSL etc. In order to help rectify this I have devised a "geek Cred" scorecard. The goal is to net at least ten points per day, once deductions have been taken off. Extra points are not awarded for normal, regular playing of Tabletop RPG's, computer RPG's, Video games etc. as this is part of the intrinsic geek experience. These points are ONLY to increase your cred, not establish it.

Social interactions
+1pt each
1. Snide comments about "daredevil, Episodes one through three, Elektra, HHGTTG, Starship troopers, or any other piss-poor comic book adaptaion, Sequel, or Sci-Fi movie. However comments must be made to a non-geek who LIKED the movie.

2. $100+ purchases in a comic store which do NOT include Graphic Novels, toys, RPG books, novels, or collectable editions.

3. You join a game oriented website, even though you already belong to 4 or more.

4. Your password for that site begins "upupdowndownleftri"

+2 points Ea.

1. You have "Invader Zim" on preorder for PSP

2. You play the lottery in the hopes of winning enough money to buy the rights to "Star Wars" in order to remove the bullshit.

3. You get a D+D oriented vanity plate for your Prius.

4. You bookmark another free porn website.. that doesn't have any spyware on it.

+5 points ea.

1. Ignoring girlfriend to play a new video game. (+10 if she's naked)

Any other Ideas for points?

Geek

I need to update my computer. It's too slow to play the movies for civ4 without crashing... Fuck!!!