I am a fervent patron of places where fights are only a moment away from starting. Dirty smoke filled bars, metal shows, Divorce courts... but I have noticed that relatively nobody tries to start shit in a nice restaurant.
Until tonight.
I took my girlfriend to one of the nicer bars in town, since today was December Graduation, parents were taking the families newest degree holder out for a nice dinner . So there was a wait. This is normal, the matre d was dutifully taking peoples names and seating preference, calling names as tables became available and doing his redneck best to be snobbish. Unfortunately the restaurant does not have an adequate waiting section since it doesn't often have to deal with crowds and there was a general bottleneck around the door and people coming in kind of shuffled off to the side as space permitted. For example my girlfriend and I were shuffled off under the coats in the coat rack.
An asian family came in behind us, it appeared to be a recent graduate, father and Uncle/ family friend type. They made their way to the front of the line so they could tell the matre d's attention and get on the list. From the back this burly redneck comes charging up shouting "do you want to step outside? We were here before they were..." Repeat four or five times as this poor man half his size dressed in a nice suit in celebration of the day, tried to maintain some diginity as he was being yelled at in a language he didn't understand.
Unexpectedly from my voice box I heard the words..."Would you two please put your ego's back in your pants, this is a nice restaurant. Let the poor man get his name on the list, wait your turn politely and then go home and shoot yourself as a favor to the human race."
If I spoke so anybody could hear me I might have gotten a reaction.
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1 comment:
True. That might have drawn attention to you and your neee-gro woman.
*chews a stalk of corn and spits into a spittoon*
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